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EDWARD THE LESS
Edward the Less, son of Edward the Normal, is a young Pudge who has grown weary of the cutesy-wutsey Pudge life. Tired of his country folk — short, fat, white people with big red noses and bushy sideburns who constantly sing and dance and eat huge casseroles — Edward has shaved, shed some weight and made plans to leave the Pudgelands forever.
When not daydreaming about faraway places, Edward is an accomplished button-maker, an avid player of golfolorolfa, and is prophesied to face the evil Dark Person whether he likes it or not.
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SOAPWORT MCFUGGLETOES
Known to just about everyone as "Soapy," Soapwort McFuggletoes is Edward's dim but loyal travelling companion, boon friend and sometime caddy. Though short and unassuming, Soapy is capable of feats of great bravery as well as feasts of prodigious snacking. Soapy also enjoys singing, although that enjoyment is usually not shared by anyone within earshot.
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PRIMATENE
The ancient wizard Primatene, six hundred years old if he's a day, has appeared out of nowhere to warn Edward of his dark destiny. Possessed of a fondness for fabulous hats and known to appear in a healing mist, Primatene summons all his powers to protect Edward and Soapy, which, as you might guess, puts the two Pudges in continual mortal danger.
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THE NOBLE ONE
Tall, sonorous and possessed of Olympian good looks, The Noble One assumes the role of guardian for Edward and Soapy on their quest. Born of the ancient and Noble race known as the 'Round Standers, The Noble one uses many Noble deceptions and confidences to best his enemies and friends alike. He has an unwavering faith in the prophecies of the Çîvúëlîêñïnëå, and has sworn on his very life to protect himself first, and others as needed.
The Noble One's raiment is provided by Hugo of the Bossland. Hair by José.
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THE BUS RIDERS
The fell Bus Riders cast a malevolent shadow of fear over the Lighter Area in service of their master, The Dark Person. Whether intimidating townsfolk, torturing enemies or slaughtering innocents just for kicks, their foul deeds are performed in comfort and style thanks to their state-of-the-art, 36-foot luxury tour bus. Featuring air conditioning, individual lighting, high-back recliner seating and increased headroom designed to accommodate even the tallest minion of evil, their 450-hp diesel chariot never fails to strike dread into the hearts of good, kind and environmentally conscious people everywhere.
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ARIADRINA
Born a woman of the Exceedingly Ugly Men, she is unspeakably beautiful and well-proportioned, as well as courageous and resourceful; she also is an innovative cook and an inspired masseuse. She is, in essence, the very archetype of the women seen wearing fur-lined bikinis and hacking the limbs off razor-toothed camelopards in paintings by dozens of terminally preadolescent fantasy artists. In short, she'll rock your fantasy world. Oh, and she digs ugly men.
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BLOORICK
The last to join the Buddyship of the Token, Bloorick is fierce, loyal and spectacularly ugly. Flies have been known to avoid him. Wielding his mighty axe with the strength of Thor and the grace of Bjorn Borg, Bloorick also is the most economical of monologists, finding decapitation a concise and effective form of expression. Yet Bloorick has a strange allure for those of the fairer sex, of which in his race there might be as many as three.
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