2.22 Extra! Extra! Read All About It. (9/24/00) By Eddie Nambulous
If this were a newspaper of the old-fashioned variety some kid would be on a street corner hollering his guts out to the urban masses -- "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!" Don’t know if Foster has flipped his lid or if he’s just so tired he can’t take it anymore, but some real bad stuff has gone down and we’re pulling out all the stops.
2.21 Our Dark Future (9/17/00) By Eddie Nambulous
What would you do if you could look into the future and what you saw was your worst nightmare? Let me tell ya, I was always sure I wouldn’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss … or so I’m told. We all know that a true paranoid is never ignorant. In fact, all too often, we’re the exact opposite -- we know too much!
2.20 Married To The Mob (9/10/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Loyalty. Fuggedaboutit. Through dozens of over-the-top, and a few near-genius spinnings of the mob yarn, we’ve all certainly become familiar with the importance of the concept of loyalty. Heck, even the soaps play heavy on the theme – loyalty certainly inspires melodrama.
2.19 Keep Your Enemies Even Closer (8/27/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Enemies. They say to keep ‘em close as your pals rather than as far away as you’d like a hela-monster. I’m not so sure I agree. But let’s discuss …
2.18 Pissing Off The Aliens (8/20/00) By Eddie Nambulous
What really pisses you off? I mean, for us, it kinda might be the same thing that really turns us on – conspiracies, discovering them, cracking them – what pisses us off is people not buying into them, fighting them, dismissing them. And then of course there’s aliens.
2.17 Life Is Tough (8/13/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Life is tough. Living it even tougher. I mean, day in, day out we all gotta do our thing. Work, clean, take-out the garbage, surf the net, run from the FBI, expose aliens – no matter what it is you’re doing we’re all pretty busy.
2.16 Gimme Some Lovin' (8/06/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Gigolos, call girls. Worlds oldest profession – EZ money. Who of us hasn’t been fascinated by sex for sale? Not that I encourage anyone to partake of such a forbidden fruit, I mean that’s an apple with worms if I ever saw one – but there is something mysterious and alluring about it – if only in theory.
2.15 Never, Never Land (7/30/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Kids and amusement parks, remember the way you never wanted to leave? Mom and Dad had finally had enough of the gum on their shoes, walking around soaking wet and you wanted to stay forever. There just weren’t any rules there (except for the height requirement on the really cool rides). It was like the place was built for nothin’ but fun.
2.14 Paranoid Pontificating (7/23/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Since I took the Journal this week I tried to convince Foster he should write the Paranoid Times Editorial. Cade wasn’t interested. He said pontificating in the Paranoid Times was my territory alone. So today I thought I’d pontificate on something personal to my life – my past.
2.13 Those Wacky, Horny Teens (7/16/00) By Eddie Nambulous
We’ve always been fascinated by the mysterious angst and sexual confusion of pubescence. Not an easy time for most, yet ever so many of us seem ready to go back and repeat it.
2.23 Let's Talk About Paranoia (7/9/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Let’s talk about paranoia. What is it? We all know, you, me, Foster and the growing legions of the Paranoid Times -- but what about those of you who don’t really get it? The unfortunate masses who’ve yet to be enlightened. Maybe we outta break it down for them.
2.11 Me And The Bee (6/25/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Bee obsession. I’ve always had one. Honey on everything, that was my motto as a larva. Alright a cheesy joke, but I did love the spun nectar. Had an aunt who called it bee spit. Had an uncle who called her an idiot for that.
2.10 Whaddaya Do When "Faculties Failure Requires Sense Anew? (6/18/00) By Eddie Nambulous
I know, I know. You’re wondering what the heck is that Crazy Eddie yammering about this time? Let me break it down for you gentle readers (as if four-hundred-million-dollars-worth of you don’t already know) – I’m riffing here on "the sixth sense."
2.09 Soul Food For Thought (4/23/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Welcome, dear readers, to Crazy Eddie's Soul Asylum --- a forum where I invite you to consider your personal beliefs about the nature of the human soul.
2.08 Make Love, Not War? (4/16/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Talk about your calm before the storm. In recent days, things have been relatively quiet. Naturally, that kind of calm would inspire dread in any true paranoid. My fear --- one among many --- is that the second wave invasion might be just around the corner.
2.07 Of Vice And Men (4/09/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Am I the only one among us who worries about this American obsession with gambling? I don't mean the concept of gambling resorts. Hey, I'm as susceptible to bright lights, all-you-can-eat buffets and sequined showgirls as the next guy.
2.06 Uncle Sam Wants You (4/02/00) By Eddie Nambulous
The public rarely questions the military. Why would we? They’re sworn to protect us, it’s their job – we can trust them. Well, gentle citizens, the Paranoid could argue another story.
2.05 How Dead Is Dead? (2/06/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Here’s a challenge meant to probe your most fundamental belief system on the subjects of life, death and possibly even faith. I ask you this, loyal readers – How dead is dead?
2.04 Get Up Off Your Brain And Use It. (1/30/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Experts have always believed that even Einstein only used 11% of his brain capacity. So what do you use smart guy... 2%? If you could just access and fire up those remaining cells imaging what you could do... telekenetic remote controlled TV for starters.
2.03 Even Clint Eastwood Knows When To Get The Hell Out Of Dodge. (1/23/00) By Eddie Nambulous
Man oh man- Cade got hit hard this time. He ventured into the wild, wild west and saw first hand how they execute vigilante justice Wyoming-style.
2.02 Vote Eddie For President. (1/16/00) By Eddie Nambulous
How do you spell conspiracy? Try: W.A.S.H.I.N.G.T.O.N.D.C. Talk about the mother ship calling you home. I must admit I have a love/ hate relationship with our nation’s capital. How could a true paranoid not have a morbid fascination with control central of all activity secret, subversive and scheming?
2.01 The ONE Time You Want The Alien To Probe You... (1/9/00) By Eddie Nambulous
The voice of Edward Nambulous will not fall silent, and although I've been absent and slow to update the site, I'm back to enlighten and lead you my little paranoid lemmings. Let me tell you how I got in on a little alien action with Cade... he never told me the Gua started growing babe-o-rific husks.
|
