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 Gotta Support The Team.(06/18/00) After much deliberation (the length of time it took me to shotgun a Jolt cola) I've decided that you guys are really starting to come around... believing in Cade and I and supporting the team. Oh sure, I still sense the sarcasm from time to time, but I grin & bear it knowing that behind the tongue in your cheek is someone ready to accept the truth. From:<Hubbkah> To:<crazyeddie@www.scifi.com> What I find so fascinating about your quest with Cade is how you come up with those great leads on such little evidence -- how DO you do it? Also, I have to say Cade would be no where without you. KRYSTAL Dear Krystal, Thanks so much for weighing in with your support. While I’ll take your kudos and smile ear-to-ear, let me say that this fight isn’t just about what Cade and I do on the frontlines. No, it’s about all of us getting on line and screaming from our laptops that we will not fall to the alien’s hands. We know they’re here, and we’re ready to send ‘em packing. As to how we do it – well what you should remember my lovely is that we have the lost book of Nostradamus by our side helping to point us in all the right directions. Sure, it would be easier had the Big N simply spelled each and every alien plot right out for us, but with the combined smarts of Foster and I, along with the gargantuan research-might of my computer, we do seem to do okay. Foster and I are a team – dare I say the team supreme! Neither one of us is about to take more credit than the other but I’m not afraid to spell it out – without Cade none of us would even know about the Gua’s presence here on earth – so we owe a lot to the big man. And he’ll be glad to know you got his back. Keep writing, Krystal! Forever Crazy, Eddie Subject: Is She an Alien? From: <ggunn1> To: <crazyeddie@www.scifi.com> Hey Eddie, there's this girl in my class that’s so annoying to me. Everyone except my friend and I like her. I think she's an alien. Could it be that I just hate her and she's not an alien? I have psychic visions of her sometimes -- no joke! Usually it's just insignificant stuff, nothing huge like ''she’s gonna die'' or whatever. Could it be that my psyche is tuned to her Gua-presence? How do you tell if someone’s an alien? Please reply -- if this girl is an alien there's no telling who else is! And I, for one am ready to find out so I can stop her! Xavier Mr. X, A Gua in your class? Why not, they’re certainly everywhere else! As far as you’re having visions involving this girl, I’d probably attribute that to raging hormones rather than alien presence. If you do however possess some radical new Gua-dar Cade and I will be picking you up with the ever-trusty Cadillac on the next spin through wherever you’re writing from. But seriously, you already know the Gua are here using our skins to hide their alien-selves so the best way to spot a Gua is while they dissolve – not that I’d recommend anything drastic. Stick to the books and keep watchin’ the popular babe. If you piss her off enough she could "flash" for ya (ugly alien face that is, I don’t mean in the good way.) Steal her lunch and coat it in salt, if she’s suddenly oh-so-trippy with her "as if’s" and "gag me’s" you could have a genuine alien on your hands. Otherwise she’s just a nice, pretty girl with the world at her feet – just the kind who’d never even talk to me in high school. Still, now I’m an alien hunter soooo … Can I get her number? Thanks for the shout, Mr. X. Keep up the watch. As your letter shows us, ya never know where the Gua are hiding and who is ready to stop ‘em! Until your next report -- I am -- as always -- totally, Crazy Subject: Are they out there? From:<jam.2000> To:<crazyeddie@www.scifi.com> Hi Eddie, I’ve always felt that aliens really do exist but I’ve never had any real evidence. I know you have because of your past experiences with the Gua. I would like to know for sure. And what about Roswell? Do you think the government is really withholding information about alien existence from the public? Please let me know what you think. Thanks and try to stay away from all that coffee. Jenny La Jenny, Stay away from coffee!? Listen, lady, if my days and nights are gonna be spent fighting aliens ala the web I’m certainly gonna hold onto my favorite vice! Ooops. Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have had that ninth cup? Anywho, yes, Jenny, aliens DO exist – here at the "Paranoid Times" we call them Gua and they’re looking to take over our turf. As for the proof you mentioned, well, if we had that than maybe we could get more help from TBTB but so far, Foster and I haven’t had that much luck. All you really need to know is that Eddie don’t lie – they ARE here and THEY are bad. And Roswell, heck the government has been all about cover-ups since the dawn of time my sweet – I’d say the bets are good that there’s something out there that the good ole US of A leaders don’t want us to know. It may even go deeper than our leaders alone. So keep a paranoid eye out for all you see, Miss Thang. It’s the only way we can be sure that what we don’t see gets seen by someone. Know what I mean? Faithfully, Ed Subject: Psychic Powers From:<Andalite01> To:<crazyeddie@www.scifi.com> Hey Eddie, How’s the fight goin'? Keep up the good – wait -- GREAT, work. Well, I just wrote to say that I think that some people have psychic connections to aliens! As for me, I almost always have a sense of déjà vu -- don't know why – but right before something happens, I get this "weird" feeling. Sometimes, I can predict things that are going to happen, and then they do! Do you think that these thoughts have anything to do with the Gua? Oh, I almost forgot. I have a fortune for you and Cade. Here it is, " Keep on charging the enemy, so long as there is life." Just a reminder, there are many believers out here and we're ready to fight for our freedom. Thanx man! Signed "the most weird, crazy, paranoid person in the world, besides you (but, still, right behind you) Ziggy (that's just a nickname) Zig (a personalized abbreviation of an already really cool nickname), Glad to see another pal weighing in on, and running with, their own paranoia. How very excellent of you! The fight, my friend, is going on but it gets tougher and tougher each week. Your affirmations of course help us to plug along. As far as your psychic concerns go, well dude, sounds to me like you could be accessing a part of your brain most of us don’t get to so often. Check out my riff on psychics in the Paranoid Times archive for more on that. Your expanded awareness could have something to do with the Gua or it could be a natural talent – either way all that matters is that you put it to good use for team Foster. If you suddenly start zoning into that psychic place and premonate on an alien experiment give us a cyber-shout right away. Foster and I can be there in a heartbeat. As to your fortune, sounds more like Cade’s motto for life. -- he ain’t about to give up and neither am I. Besides, now we’ve got you on our side – and every believer counts. Paranoid-and-proud, Edward Nambulous |
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