 |
 |
|
|
|
 |
 |
||
 |
 |
 |
|
|
 A Storm Is Brewing on the Paranoid Front.(7/16/99) The storm is brewing on the paranoid front. We have been accessed, evaluated, and warned, my friends. I got an anonymous e-mail from, I strongly believe, an alien. The message was simple. It said: Dear Mr Eddie, Get out of the alien business for good, such things can be very unhealthy. We are aware of the extent of your knowledge and will be closely observing. You cannot stop the 1st wave. The 2nd wave is near. So I got some news for any of our alien observers out there. Knowledge is power! "The Paranoid Times" exists to get the word out about you scum. We will not back down. Observe all you want, I figured we were being watched anyhow. I have letters to answer. My fans await! From: Palmerfam To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: First Wave Any chance that Caid will ever got to places other than America, if the First Wave is truly here, it can't just be in the US. Aliens want to take over the entire world, not just the US. I think Caid should have some adventures out of the US. Dear Palmerfam, Jeez, man! This gig is tough enough just being in the United States. Since Cade’s got the law looking to bust his butt at every step, getting out of the US might be a tough feat, not to mention getting back in. But you do bring up a point that we have discussed. The Gua are probably everywhere, worldwide, not just in the US. Nevertheless, our mission is about exposing these alien scum. Hopefully, we’ll be able to do that from where ever we are… Remember, that doesn’t mean you can’t take up the fight from where you might be. Make "The Paranoid Times" a global fighting force! Ciao, Crazy Eddie From: DANLBRDENA To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: (no subject) Dear Eddie, What about Nostradamus' prediction about the "Terror from the Sky" predicted for July, 1999? I love your column because you are my male counterpart in a world gone mad. We have seen the aliens. Dena from Dayton Dear Dena, Nostradamus is a wacky guy. He’s apparently been right just as much as wrong, although I favor the argument that we just haven’t ‘read him right.’ The Terror from the Sky for July 1999 has come and gone. What can I say? Maybe we’re just off base on the date. Maybe the prediction has some correlation to the prophecies Foster and I are working from. Foster and I are using a text that was thought destroyed – a lost book – that has predicted the arrival and infiltration of a first wave of aliens on this Earth. I can’t comment on the Terror prophecy any more than that. We’ve met with success from this Nostradamus book of prophecy about the alien invasion, so who am I to question it? We just have to keep up the fight… Eddie From: Anonymous To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: None I think you are doing well. Trust some, but not all. I think the first wave will crash upon you, they know where you are and being paranoid will not save you. Questions: 1) How will you get Joshua to 'help' you? 2) If he does help you, what makes you so sure he won't turn on you the first chance he gets. 3) Eddie, why don't you just hack into the government computer and reverse the ruling? Aren't you like, the best or something? Good luck with the first wave. I am an ally. ~Anonymous~ Dear Anonymous, Thanks for the warning. But your pessimism about our success is sour grapes. Let me put it this way, my paranoia has saved my butt this far in life, I’m thinking my odds are pretty good. Not that I’m getting cocky, ‘cause I’m not. I’m just more than slightly hell-bent on taking these aliens down. Get it? When you think you can’t win the war, you’ve already lost. I don’t take words like ‘crusade’ lightly, dig? Anyway, I forgive you… so onto your questions… 1) I have no idea if Joshua will or even wants to help us. All I know is that Foster felt he may have connected with Joshua. He may have given an alien a better perspective on what humanity’s all about. Maybe if they don’t think of us as an inferior and flawed species, but instead recognize our strengths, they may reconsider trying to take us out. They’d have to realize it would save their butts a world of hurt, too. 2) Foster and I are a little too smart to blindly trust an alien. There’s nothing stopping him from turning on us. The mind of a paranoid never stops speculating on how the other guy’s out to get you. We’re not about to do it here either. 3) I sense sarcasm here. Yeah, I am the best. Which means I don’t get caught. Here’s the real deal. Not that I haven’t tried, but it’s far easier for me to get into a system and just look around than try and get in and change things. Big brother would be all over my ass. Nice try, though. There’s only one way for Foster to clear his name: bag an alien or evidence thereof. You say you’re an ally. How ‘bout a little support for the home team! We can beat them. We can win. Never waver in this belief. To victory, Crazy Eddie |
||||||||
|
|
|
