 |
 |
|
|
|
 |
 |
||
 |
 |
 |
|
|
 The Smell Of Paranoia In The Morning(9/17/99) I love the smell of paranoia in the morning. It smells like…victory. Such is the reflection I had today while sipping my coffee in the comfort and safety of my deadbolted airstream trailer as I went over the most recent TPT e-mails. Keep the letters coming in. Tell your friends and family to read the Paranoid Times and join the ranks of the believers. Let’s get paranoid! Let’s get victorious! Let’s get more coffee. From: Plague2032 To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: Hey Eddie I think what you and Cade are doing is great. At least some of us believe the Aliens are here among us. How come not all the Gua know about Cade Foster? Shouldn't all those aliens know about him by now? Thanks Again, The Q. Plague Dear Q. Plague, Thanks for the note and the insightful question, Q.P. Nice to know we got believers out there. As to why all the Gua don’t know about Foster – our best guess is that only the Acolyte branch of the Gua have been charged with taking Foster out. In the course of most of our investigations, we encounter aliens who are overseeing experiments or have infiltrated positions of power – they got their hands full. Our encounters with the acolytes have been few and far between. Nevertheless, every one of the aliens always seem to figure out who Foster is eventually. The heat seems to be on all the time. But we’re watching our step… Keep up the fight, Crazy Eddie From: QRWar To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: First Wave I really enjoy reading the Paranoid Times, and I look forward to each and every issue. Dear QRWar, Thanks for the note. More issues coming. Keep surfing this side of cyberspace and tell your friends to do the same. The more the merrier. Stay paranoid, Crazy Eddie From: JGonz81443 To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: hacking Dear Eddie, You said that you were a hacker. If you are why don't you just find some programs that the aliens have on the net and get their plans that way. Because they have to have an internet page or chat room to coordinate over long distances instead of using the phone. Also, if you are a Hacker, what systems have you hacked into? Any major ones that people have heard about? Don't you and Cade think that the Gau have people in the government, because then you could expose them nationally by killing them in a press confrence or something like that. Sincerely JGonz Dear JGonz, You make it sound so easy! Come on, dude. We’re busting hump looking for aliens 24-7. You only hear about our successful encounters, not the hours spent hauling butt around the country going on fifteen different wild goose-chases and coming up with nothing. I’ve been looking all over the net for any signs of the Gua, but hey, these guys are good. They encode their messages far as we can tell. They’ve almost seamlessly blended into our society, so I have yet to find any Gua chat rooms talking about how they plan to invade. My guess is they’re a bit more sophisticated than that. Now as for what systems I’ve hacked into, I unfortunately can’t go into that. I believe a hacker never reveals his secrets, and furthermore, I’m already in trouble enough for putting my nose where it wasn’t wanted. All those three letter government agencies want to eat me for breakfast. As for your last question, again, easier said than done. We have yet to encounter some kind of high profile Gua government person, and besides, that’s a helluva risk to play Lee Harvey Oswald in the name of exposing the aliens. What if we were wrong? Thanks for the letter, but I think Foster and I are going to stick with the quatrains from Nostradamus’ book as our guide to finding the aliens. Crazy Eddie From: colleen (nativeground) To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: First Wave Dear Eddie: I've been keeping track of what's been going on since the beginning, and I have a couple of theories. 1) The fact that the government shows no interest in the common man’s life, i.e. all of the basic bull that plagues the lives of us all: inflation, censorship, taxes, simply proves their involvment in the first wave. 2) I also have no doubt that time travel is or will be within the aliens’ grasp. I am not the only one; my friends and I believe that the current events in our lives are a result of the aliens ability to alter the past. We often recall bits and pieces of events that no one else remembers. Don't think you guys are the only ones who are trying to find answers. There are a lot of us out here who seek the truth, and want to help expose them. Sincerely, A Student of the Truth Dear Student of Truth, A paranoid after my own heart. I don’t doubt that the Gua have their hands deep in the guts of government. The Gua are trying to wear us down through all the basic bull that we encounter in life. Stay strong. As for the time travel question, check out MOONDOG’s letter from a couple e-mails ago. I think for sure the Gua know how to travel through time – they use wormholes to travel great distances, which effectively is jumping through time. Now if the aliens ever figure out a way to go back in time and take us on, we’re gonna be in big trouble. Let’s hope they don’t figure that out. Thanks for the letter and keep reading The Paranoid Times. Truthfully paranoid, Crazy Eddie From: Mark (alphawizard) To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: I believe there is an female alien living in my neighborhood ! Hi Crazy Eddie, I believe that there is a beautiful alien living in my neighborhood with some odd eating habits. I have watched this alien lure men into her house with her beautiful body and long red wavy hair. She seduces them but I have never seen them leave! I have on at least one occasion seen shadows behind her shades. Frankly, these shadows scare me for it appears as though she has sex with the men and then devours them whole. Sort of like a cross between a black widow spider and a snake. Well at least they go happy. I need your expert advice. Should I go over there and confront her with what I know? I am getting concerned because lately she has been looking at me and seductively licking her lips. I look forward to your response. Hopefully your assistance won't come too late. Sincerely, Alien-In-My-Midst Dear In My Midst, You came to the right place, my friend. Check out >Foster’s journal and my "Paranoid Times" column on the case we’re calling "Cul-de-Sac". We encountered a very similar scenario and we can probably provide you some assistance in dealing with this alien vixen. But wow, that red hair almost makes capitulating to that alien well worth it. Did I just say that? I’m weak! Stand strong, dude. Stay away from her. The Gua must be attacking the very foundation of family all over the country. Let us know how it goes… Crazy Eddie From: Lori (tigger) To: crazyeddie@scifi.com Subject: aliens Eddie, you might not be the warrior but you are the brains of the two. If aliens are out there, why don't more people know about them? It shouldn't be that hard to bring them out. People will believe in anything these days. As for Cade, why doesn't he find someone else to help him out on the field. He doesn't have to work alone. Dear Lori, Thanks for the compliment, however, I’ll make sure Foster doesn’t hear that. He gets sensitive. As for why more people don’t know about the aliens, good question! Why don’t more people know? That’s why we need you to read "The Paranoid Times" and tell your friends and people you know aren’t Gua (or hope aren’t) to stay with the First Wave watch. As for Cade getting someone else to help him in the field, what do you think I am, huh? I occassionally leave the trailer. Not that I want to, but… Besides, having another person helping us along the road might be tough – the trailer is only so big. We’ll see. I admit, we need believers everywhere. And we need those believers to make more believers! We’re looking for allies. Tell them to write in and keep reading the TPT. Crazy Eddie |
||||||||
|
|
|
