Master Finn is a mechanical craftsman with much to celebrate. His latest creation, an intelligent lizard named Julia Jessica Slagg, is his greatest accomplishment yet. He has a beautiful new wife, Letitia Louise, and a fabulous vacation ahead. Of course, that's before their ship makes an unexpected stopover in Nakeemo, in the land of Makasar.

Seeking respite from cramped quarters, Finn, Julia and Letitia go ashore, but soon find the local customs even more uncomfortable than the ship. The chief religions are Hatters and Hooters, both of which gather in violent gangs. All agree that hospitality is a gruesome sin, and most hate Newlies--species of animals turned into humans by sorcery hundreds of years before.

Finn finds himself helping a loutish noble, Sabatino Nucci, rescue his father from a deranged mob of Hatters, whose trademark is jabbing their enemies with pointed sticks. Risking universal opprobrium, a grudgingly grateful Sabatino invites Finn to stay at his filthy, run-down mansion. It seems Sabatino's crazy father, Calabus, wants Finn's assistance with a hideous machine that he's been building in the cellar. Finn wants only to get away, but his host has paid their ship to depart. Worse, Finn's connection with the Nuccis has incurred him the enmity of the local Foxers (Newlies descended from foxes), who have a blood feud with the strange clan.

Letitia senses evil from the mind-wrenching machine and sends Finn to find a seer among the Mycers (mice-descended Newlies)--for Letitia is a Mycer herself. Hunted by Hatters and Hooters, humans and Newlies, Finn barely makes it back alive. By the time he does, the Nuccis are plotting to grab Letitia and Julia for themselves, and the monstrous underground machine is growing of its own accord.

An uneven jumble of spare parts

The author doesn't reveal where exactly The Prophecy Machine takes place, but indications are that it's on the planet Smart-Ass, where every remark is snide and every dialogue a snitfest. Those who have visited the planet Smart-Ass, perhaps to attend a party, are aware it's best to get away in under an hour if sanity is to be preserved. So imagine being marooned there for two grueling days while these unpleasant characters verbally slice each other up, all the while professing abiding love and respect.

In his concentration on conjuring clever putdowns better suited to the speech balloons of comic book villains, Barrett has neglected the world he created. Promising ideas--in particular, a society dealing with several of its animal races having been turned into humans--are kept undernourished to feed the banter. The plot is uneven, the setting is sketchy and the locals are mere pencil outlines of people. Finn, Julia and Letitia are little more developed, and sometimes inconsistent as well. From the way Sabatino acts, he could be four different characters who share a name.

There's nothing wrong with keeping a story lighthearted. And it's always nice to find fantasy novels that don't require their characters to embark on a quest and march a hundred leagues to the Land of Folderol. The problem comes when comedy, especially mean-spirited comedy, is all there is. Even in comic fantasy, where you don't expect King Lears, real, identifiable people are crucial. The trip to the end of the universe would have been a lot more trying if readers first hadn't gotten to know Arthur Dent.

Neal Barrett Jr. is a respected, prolific author who surprised everyone with a breakthrough SF novel, Through Darkest America, at age 60. The Prophecy Machine is simply not his best work.