t's the dawn of a new century--the 1800s--and the fledgling United
States already has secret agents assigned to undermine the
world-domination plans of its archenemy, France, led by Napoleon. The most daring of these agents is Jack Stiles (Campbell), two-thirds
rogue and one-third swashbuckler. After saving President Thomas Jefferson's
niece from the clutches of Napoleon's men, Stiles is dispatched on another
mission: Find out what the diminutive emperor's plans are in the East
Indies.
Arriving on the French-controlled island of Palao Palao, Stiles meets his
contact: Emilia Rothschild, a beautiful and wealthy British widow who is
also a brilliant entrepreneur and undercover agent for his majesty's
secret service. Much to his chagrin, macho man Stiles is to pose as Rothschild's attaché. She explains all this to him in her secret underground laboratory, which is stocked with the most advanced technology of the new century and accessed through an illusory burning fireplace.
In the series premiere, "Return of the Dragoon," the duo's first stop is
the French governor's mansion. While Stiles looks for clues about the
French fleet's plans, he is nearly discovered by the governor's soldiers.
He quickly improvises a ruse to escape, adopting the persona of a local
folk hero, the Dragoon--using Rothschild's undergarments as a mask.
Needless to say, Rothschild is not happy with Stiles' unorthodox methods, and she writes President Jefferson, seeking to have Stiles replaced. She then devises a plan to find the French fleet's orders by boarding
a naval ship as it rests in the island's harbor. When she is about to be
apprehended by the governor's men, Stiles reappears in full Dragoon
drag. But this time, the governor's men are ready for him.
Light fare, but intriguing
Jack of All Trades is half of the syndicated Back 2 Back
Action hour produced by Studios USA to replace
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (the other being Cleopatra 2525). Judging from the show's first hour, it promises to be a lot of fun.
A word of caution, though. Pedants and other sticklers for historical
accuracy should tune in to the History Channel instead. Like
Hercules and its companion, Xena: Warrior Princess,
Jack uses history mainly for costumes, exotic settings and as an
excuse for sophomoric, anachronistic humor. At one point President
Jefferson warns Stiles, "Touch my niece, and I'll have George Washington
chop off your cherry tree."
The show's greatest asset is Bruce Campbell, and it's a pleasure to see
him back as a series television lead. He trades on the smart-alecky
persona familiar to fans of The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. and
the Evil Dead movies. "Beat it, turkey, I'm in the middle of some
thanksgiving," he says to the person knocking on the door as he's about to
deflower an innocent young thing.
But Jack isn't in danger of exhibiting the cleverness that made Brisco County such a private pleasure (private, since few people saw it in its short run). The plot of the first episode is sketchy at best, mostly an excuse for Campbell's bon mots, some innocent sexual innuendo, a few rousing sword fights and a way to get co-star Dotchin into her skivvies as expeditiously as possible.
Sadly, Dotchin's charms seem restricted to her lovely green eyes and
lithe physique. She's got a long way to go to keep up with Campbell's
apparently effortless twinkle. Also, the New Zealand native's
British accent is oddly mid-Atlantic, sort of like Kevin Costner's in
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. But as broad and silly as Jack appears, it's worth watching solely for Campbell's appeal.
n the year 2525, humanity is barely alive. Driven underground by a race
of flying, insectoid killing machines called Baileys, the surviving humans dwell in a
labyrinth of bottomless shafts, corridors and mechanized spaces.
Two young warriors, Hel (Torres) and Sarge (Pratt), are following a
voice in Hel's head that tells her to challenge the Baileys. Emerging on the surface of the Earth, they test new shields and fire new weapons, retrieving a piece of a Bailey firing arm before escaping back underground. But one of their companions turns out to be a lethal Betrayer robot, who
injures Sarge. Escaping, Hel carries Sarge through the shafts to the domain of a mutant cat creature who has acquired
cryogenically frozen people from the 21st century. In exchange for a piece of wood, the rarest of all commodities, Hel buys
a kidney for Sarge. But in the process of transplanting the organ,
Hel inadvertently awakens the donor. She is Cleopatra (Sky), an aspiring starlet
and stripper who was mistakenly frozen during the course of a "boob job"
in 2001.
But before Cleopatra can get her bearings, the Betrayer robot returns. The trio escape back to Sarge and Hel's home lab, where their robot
friend Mauser (Patrick Kake) attempts to operate the Bailey firing arm.
Meanwhile, Cleopatra finds it as difficult to explain what an "exotic
dancer" is to her companions as they do trying to explain what a Bailey
is.
Conversation is cut short when the now-morphed Betrayer shows up again, firing
on all blasters. Cleopatra's acting skills come in handy as the group
battles the killer robot amid flying heat rays and laser beams.
Chicks vs. robots...yawn
Cleopatra 2525 is the distaff half of Studios USA's Back 2 Back
Action set of syndicated shows replacing Hercules: The Legendary
Journeys (the other is Jack of All Trades.) It's an odd mix of Charlie's Angels, The
Terminator and Futurama, with elements of Molly from William
Gibson's Neuromancer and scraps of Trinity from The Matrix.
As might be expected from such a derivative series, Cleopatra
lacks most of its forebears' virtues, feeling tired and familiar before the
first hour is over. Making the main characters all warrior women would be nice if they
weren't clad in Barbarella-style outfits and given Melrose
Place hair and makeup. Judging from the video-game visuals and computer-generated effects, however, the intended audience for Cleo is adolescent boys, who won't complain much about the abundance of skin.
The premiere episode hints at a
complicated back story that promises to unfold as the series progresses.
What's the deal with the voice that talks to Hel? Why is Sarge called Sarge?
Where do the Baileys come from? In the future the show will offer
more mutant animal creatures, further intrigues and more enemies for the
central trio, including Raina, a mind-control expert.
There are ripe possibilities for humor and fish-out-of-water
story telling surrounding Cleopatra's situation, but the first episode's dialogue and attempts at humor are pretty wan. The colorless performances of the principal actors don't help.
In their defense, they spend much of the first hour shooting lasers from
their wrists, falling through open shafts, rolling on the ground and doing
Xena-style leaps in mid air.
The action and special effects are serviceable, as are the
claustrophobic sets and skimpy costumes, which nevertheless have the
low-budget feel of Babylon 5. But overall, Cleopatra 2525 has a lot farther to go before it rises to the level of its source material.
