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Amazons of Cydonia

"You promised me slaves, and slaves they shall be!"

* Amazons of Cydonia
* Space Patrol, Volume 2
* Starring Ed Kemmer, Lyn Osborn and Ken Mayer
* Englewood Entertainment
* Approx. 90 Minutes
* MSRP $19.95

Review by Jeff Berkwits

Scientists have long known that the surface of Venus is an inhospitable wasteland. But during the Golden Age of science fiction, overzealous writers often imagined the planet as a lush, tropical world. That rather impractical outlook also prevailed on many early SF television programs, resulting in some pretty extraordinary extraterrestrial adventures. This videotape presents a three-episode story arc from the classic children's TV series Space Patrol that showcases one of those inventive Venusian scenarios.

Our Pick: B

Originally broadcast in 1954, the first installment, titled "The Amazons of Cydonia," finds Commander Buzz Corry (Kemmer), Cadet Happy (Osborn) and Major Robertson (Mayer) landing on Venus after losing contact with a biochemist studying the planet's toxic vegetation. Arriving at the deserted research station, the trio is apprehended by a tribe of tall, spear-wielding women. However, the resourceful Corry quickly renders the ladies unconscious and the threesome, along with the previously captured scientist, escape.

In "The Monsoon Trap on Cydonia," Corry and Happy remain on Venus to retrieve the doctor's notes and locate Johnson (Ben Welden), his missing assistant. But Johnson gets the notes first, wounding Happy in the process. Leaving his injured cadet behind, Corry goes after the renegade aide, and is immediately ambushed. Bound to a tree, he frantically struggles to break free before a crossbow, set to fire directly at him, is triggered by a looming windstorm. Fortunately, Happy arrives just in time to untie Corry--although, before long, they're apprehended once again.

In the final episode, "The Men Slaves of Cydonia," Robertson returns to pick up his comrades but finds only their empty campsite. Meanwhile, Happy is lying unconscious in his cell while Corry is forced to serve the Amazons. Could this be the end for our courageous Space Patrollers? Or will interplanetary justice prevail?

What? No commercials?

In the early 1950s, science fiction fans were regularly enthralled by exhilarating television programs like Space Patrol. Sure, the cliffhanger storylines were formulaic, and the special effects remarkably simplistic, but, even today, the show's boyish excitement is infectious and appealing.

Kemmer's portrayal of the fearless Commander Corry is outstanding. Whether calmly attempting to reason with the Amazon queen or, through subtle facial expressions, wordlessly encouraging the diminutive Happy to "give it his all" during a life-or-death test of strength, Kemmer is consistently credible. As Happy, Osborn adds youthful exuberance and a nice comic touch, eliciting smiles with both his broad punch lines and amusing double takes. Even the guest stars do an admirable job, with Welden's menacing, over-the-top demeanor perfect for the villainous Johnson, and Dorothy Ford--Queen Riva of the Amazons--assuming an appropriately regal air.

Nonetheless, this particular adventure is not one of the series' best. The high-tech accessories often used by Corry and his team are barely evident, with a flimsy miniature space jet serving as the most memorable SF gadget. And, although Riva is quite intimidating when threatening to bring "hundreds of warriors swarming down" upon her prisoners, the fact that throughout the story she appears to have only two followers makes her boast seem awfully empty.

Additionally, contrary to the information printed on the cassette sleeve, the show doesn't contain the original advertisements. It's admittedly strange to complain about a lack of commercials, but these old-fashioned endorsements, generally performed live by the program's stars for such products as chocolate milk and breakfast cereal, were charming. The tape's packaging is misleading in other ways, too. The cover features images of series regulars Carol Carlisle (Virginia Hewitt) and Tonga (Nina Bara), neither of whom actually appears in this tale, and the actual running time is about 20 minutes shorter than the 90 minutes listed on the box. Still, even with these shortcomings, watching this Space Patrol videotape remains a fun experience.

Space Patrol possesses such an irresistible innocence it's practically impossible not to get involved in the ongoing exploits of Commander Corry and company. Even though the show is clearly aimed at youngsters, it invariably retains that requisite--albeit not always terribly realistic--SF "sense of wonder." -- Jeff


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