aster Finn is a mechanical craftsman with much to celebrate. His latest
creation, an intelligent lizard named Julia Jessica Slagg, is his greatest
accomplishment yet. He has a beautiful new wife, Letitia Louise, and a
fabulous vacation ahead. Of course, that's before their ship makes an
unexpected stopover in Nakeemo, in the land of Makasar.
Seeking respite from cramped quarters, Finn, Julia and Letitia go ashore,
but soon find the local customs even more uncomfortable than the ship. The
chief religions are Hatters and Hooters, both of which gather in violent
gangs. All agree that hospitality is a gruesome sin, and most hate
Newlies--species of animals turned into humans by sorcery hundreds of years
before.
Finn finds himself helping a loutish noble, Sabatino Nucci, rescue his
father from a deranged mob of Hatters, whose trademark is jabbing their
enemies with pointed sticks. Risking universal opprobrium, a grudgingly
grateful Sabatino invites Finn to stay at his filthy, run-down mansion. It
seems Sabatino's crazy father, Calabus, wants Finn's assistance with a
hideous machine that he's been building in the cellar. Finn wants only to get
away, but his host has paid their ship to depart. Worse, Finn's connection
with the Nuccis has incurred him the enmity of the local Foxers (Newlies
descended from foxes), who have a blood feud with the strange clan.
Letitia senses evil from the mind-wrenching machine and sends Finn to
find a seer among the Mycers (mice-descended Newlies)--for Letitia is a
Mycer herself. Hunted by Hatters and Hooters, humans and Newlies, Finn
barely makes it back alive. By the time he does, the Nuccis are plotting to
grab Letitia and Julia for themselves, and the monstrous underground machine
is growing of its own accord.
An uneven jumble of spare parts
The author doesn't reveal where exactly The Prophecy Machine takes
place, but indications are that it's on the planet Smart-Ass, where every remark
is snide and every dialogue a snitfest. Those who have visited the planet
Smart-Ass, perhaps to attend a party, are aware it's best to get away in
under an hour if sanity is to be preserved. So imagine being marooned there
for two grueling days while these unpleasant characters verbally slice each
other up, all the while professing abiding love and respect.
In his concentration on conjuring clever putdowns better suited to the
speech balloons of comic book villains, Barrett has neglected the world he
created. Promising ideas--in particular, a society dealing with several of
its animal races having been turned into humans--are kept undernourished to
feed the banter. The plot is uneven, the setting is sketchy and the locals
are mere pencil outlines of people. Finn, Julia and Letitia are little more
developed, and sometimes inconsistent as well. From the way Sabatino acts,
he could be four different characters who share a name.
There's nothing wrong with keeping a story lighthearted. And it's always
nice to find fantasy novels that don't require their characters to embark on
a quest and march a hundred leagues to the Land of Folderol. The problem
comes when comedy, especially mean-spirited comedy, is all there is. Even in
comic fantasy, where you don't expect King Lears, real, identifiable people
are crucial. The trip to the end of the universe would have been a lot more
trying if readers first hadn't gotten to know Arthur Dent.
Neal Barrett Jr. is a respected, prolific author who surprised everyone
with a breakthrough SF novel, Through Darkest America, at age 60.
The Prophecy Machine is simply not his best work.
