ampires used to kill most of their victims, until the Benevolent Vampire Society decided everyone should enjoy the benefits of the undead lifestyle. After all, vampires don't age. They're nearly impossible to kill. They're invulnerable to all disease and heal instantly when wounded. They can have sex and can't get pregnant. They're freed from the need to eat or eliminate. And they're freed from a humdrum, workaday existence.
But when everyone is a vampire, nearly everyone is stuck in a humdrum, workanight existence. But nobody gets a lunch or bathroom break—or retirement. Nobody can enjoy a sunset or chocolate or coffee. Nobody can have a child. And there's no prey left to hunt. For many, undeath is far more boring than life, because there's no possibility of change—except suicide.
After an especially bad night, Marty Kowalski goes for a fast drive on a dark, rain-slick, rural road—and lets go of the wheel, seeking a fiery exit from undeath. But he brakes when he sees a white puff of mortal breath in the cold night. He knows it's probably a dog, dying at the edge of the road, but he investigates—and finds a mortal child's knife in his gut.
The girl and her mother are escapees from a "farm," where mortal humans are bred and raised for the pleasure of the ultra-rich. Vampires found and killed the girl's mother. Marty comforts the bereaved girl, who bears the name Isuzu Trooper Cassidy. He brings her home, to delay the gratification of fresh, wild blood. But as he copes with his unexpected guest, Marty finds change and unpredictability have returned to his unlife. He realizes he's becoming a father to Isuzu. Yet his craving for her blood never ceases. And he's hardly the only threat to Isuzu, who is rare and vulnerable prey on a planet of vampires.
An immortal faces mortality
David Sosnowski has devoted considerable ingenuity to creating an undead Earth in his second novel, Vamped. His vampires drink vat-grown, brand-name plasma like "Sneaky Pete, the Sleepytime Tea of bloods," and adrenalin-spiked Xtreme Unction. Unneeded toilets become indoor flowerpots. Fairbanks is the new Miami, where vampires flock to enjoy the long winter nights. From eBay to sex to smiles, Sosnowski has imagined his world in impressive detail. What he imagines most deeply is life for a vampire dad with a mortal daughter.
Though he's more than 100 years old, Marty has never married or had children, so he faces quite a challenge when he finds himself a single dad. Along with fears unique to his situation, he experiences the terrors familiar to any mortal parent, from the tantrums and dangerous illnesses of childhood to the insolence and dangerous secrets of adolescence. Though Marty is a loving father, readers with children will suspect the author has not himself raised a child. For, however stressful, Marty's parent/child experiences go more smoothly than mortal parent ever experienced with mortal child.
One reason the child-rearing goes too smoothly is because the author doesn't resolve some major problems. With no foreshadowing, Marty suddenly remembers his faith and tries to save Isuzu's soul by filling her head with theology that sounds a lot like vampirism ("this is my blood," rising from the dead, etc.). Yet her sudden immersion in badly explained, fanatic Catholicism doesn't turn Isuzu into a screwed-up mess. Later, she develops bulimia, a potentially fatal psychological disorder. But bulimia, too, exits the story with no repercussions. Readers will wish real-life problems disappeared so easily.
The novel has other weaknesses. The witty cover and the author's early scathing observations of vampires as the ultimate consumers will lead many readers to expect a satire of capitalism; however, Vamped is a traditional character-driven novel. Also, Sosnowski, a talented writer, chooses to write in a lazy style. This description of Marty's suicide attempt is representative: "Where am I going? That's easy. Out. I'm going out. Preferably, with a bang." This style may be too flabby for many readers to want to sink their teeth into.
