Poor Kevin! A likely young British lad of 10 or 12, Kevin lives with two of the most boorish parents on Earth. Concerned only with the latest consumer gadgets, lolling about on plastic-wrapped recliners while idiot game shows play on the telly, Kevin's parents are oblivious to their son's deep fascination with history. But soon Kevin's hobby and intelligence will pay off.
In bed one night, Kevin witnesses a mounted warrior burst from his wardrobe, leap over his mattress and vanish through the bedroom wall. The next night, Kevin is prepared. Armed with satchel, flashlight and camera, he awaits further visitations from his clothes closet. He is not disappointed. Out of the closet stumble six dwarves, a motley lot wearing a ragbag assortment of clothing and gear. They are being pursued by the Supreme Being, a giant luminous floating head, but they soon manage an escape by opening up Kevin's bedroom into an infinite corridor, thence plunging through a mysterious portal.
Kevin and his new comrades now find themselves in Napoleonic Italy, where Kevin learns that his kidnappersnamed Randall, Fidgit, Strutter, Og, Wally and Verminare God's mechanics and repairmen and janitors, more or less. They have stolen a map of the holes in the universethe seven days of Creation was a "botched job," we learnand gone AWOL, determined to become intertemporal thieves. In their new era, they quickly stumble upon Napoleon himself and manage to rob the emperor blind.
Their escape through another portal brings them to Merry Old England, where they fall in with Robin Hood and his unlegendarily gruesome helpers. Losing all their ill-gotten treasure to Robin, they strike out once more. But their mucking about in the timestream has captured the attention of the Evil One in his Fortress of Ultimate Darkness, and this malign lord wants the potent map.
A masterwork from the man with a map





