Hermes, the Planet Express resident bureaucrat, has a near-fatal decapitation (hardly a spoiler, since it's shown in the promo trailer that debuted at ComicCon), rendering him a classic head-in-a-jar for much of the movie. At the recovery facility, Leela meets a handsome, flirty tech named Lars and begins to fall in love, much to Fry's dismay. Meanwhile, Professor Farnsworth informs the crew of their next mission: delivering "barstool softeners" to a planet of nudists.

Once naked and sunning themselves, Fry and pals meet a trio of clothing-optional aliens who share a cousin-like resemblance to Doctor Zoidberg when that fine crustacean has shed his exoskeleton: pink, rubbery, dewlapped. Think of them as larval versions of Casper the Friendly Ghost's stinker buddies, the Ghostly Trio. These slimy villains—their leader's name is Nudar—are Internet scammers. They con Leela, Amy and even Bender, downloading an obedience virus into the rascally robot.

Soon Nudar and pals own Planet Express and intently begin examining their new possessions. Using their unique info-detecting "sprunger" organs, they zero in on Fry's butt as an item of extreme interest. There lurks a tattoo of Bender containing, of all things, the secret to one-way (back to the past) time travel.

From here, the story really becomes complicated. Sending Bender back into the past to steal the world's treasures, the scammers risk an implosion of all reality. Leela's love affair deepens to potential marriage; Fry returns to the 20th century, where he falls in love with a narwhal; the scammers come to own all of Earth, Hermes gets a romantic rival in the form of one Barbados Slim; Nibbler the Nibblonian calls in his comrades—

Well, let's just say that the 31st century will never be the same.

More of everything you loved

Let me get the heresy out of the way immediately.

This triumphant feature-length return of Futurama is better than the theatrical Simpsons movie.

Now, this statement comes from someone who reviewed the Simpsons film glowingly on this very Web site, someone whose admiration for that show is almost boundless. But the virtues of this new film outclass The Simpsons Movie on a number of points, even if only marginally. But when you add a bunch of marginal superiorities together, you get overall victorious magnificence.

First comes intricacy of plot and attractiveness of the story as a whole. The basically linear nature of the Simpsons storyline was clever, but the recomplicated mind-bending intricacies of this tale are way above that. Utilizing the tropes of SF to produce genuine moments of wonder, the writers here exhibit a higher level of craft. (But the cruel bastards end on a cosmic cliffhanger that will not be resolved until the next of three more films: Futurama: The Beast With a Billion Backs.)

The tale possesses real emotional resonance, too, and that has everything to do with the believability of the empathy-inducing characters. Perhaps it's because they do not have the accumulated baggage of 400 episodes behind them. But for whatever reason, Fry and company just feel fresher and more unpredictable than Homer and family. The voice acting by the cast is always zesty and pitch-perfect. And practically every minor character from the past shows makes an appearance that flows naturally from the story.

Plotwise, even though this tale is intended to be broken up into four 22-minute episodes for TV, it does not exhibit any seams. And finally, the massive retcons (retroactive continuity, for you nonfans) are so brilliant and graceful that we never feel betrayed or cheapened.

The animation is just gorgeous here, and the effects brilliant. Contemplate the ring of Death Stars around Earth, resembling Faberge eggs, and the swooping fight against them, or the vistas of the nudist world. The language, as always, is sharp and witty. (Professor Farnsworth: "I'm sciencesing as fast as I can!" Nibbler speaking of his race's tiny "Kitten-class attack ships.") The satirical targets are spot-on. There's even two musical numbers, guest stars from Al Gore on down and a raft of extra features.

If this isn't in the running for a Hugo Award for best dramatic presentation, then I'll drink a case of Slurm.