Elvira's Haunted Hills | Movie and TV Reviews | SCI FI Weekly


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September 16, 2002

Elvira's Haunted Hills

The cursed inhabitants of a haunted mountain castle spoil an otherwise promising weekend


			Elvira's Haunted Hills

			Starring Cassandra Peterson, Richard O'Brien, Mary Scheer, Scott Atkinson, Mary Jo Smith, Heather Hopper, Gabi Andronache

			Written by Cassandra Peterson and John Paragon

			Directed by Sam Irvin

			Rated G

By Mark Wilson

Cleavage diva Elvira (Peterson), on her way to 19th-century Gay Paree to open her scandalous revue "Yes, I Can-Can," finds herself wandering the legendary Carpathian Mountains with her zaftig French maid Zou Zou (Smith) and a hundred-pound makeup case.

The footsore ladies gratefully accept a ride in the coach of a passing handsome stranger, Dr. Bradley Bradley (Atkinson), and agree to stop overnight at his destination, the huge, glowering Castle Hellsubus—home to the peculiar Lord Vladimere Hellsubus (O'Brien) and his even more peculiar family. Greeted at the door by a bloodcurdling scream, Elvira soon discovers she's the spitting image of Vladimere's first wife, Elura, who died mysteriously 10 years before.

Like all brooding castles in remote corners of Olde Europe, Castle Hellsubus is teeming with nightlife. Bradley hovers near Elvira, hoping for a "nightcap." Lady Hellsubus (Scheer) skulks the halls, spying on her overendowed houseguest. Another Hellsubus, Roxana (Hopper), pops into Elvira's chambers only to faint on the furry carpet. Meanwhile, downstairs, Vladimere is slipping down to the dungeon, which is marked with a big sign which reads "Keep Out." Elvira follows him, but is distracted by movements in the library, which turn out to be Adrian, the handsome stablemaster (Andronache), who's busy, er, polishing his gun.

Bradley's coach fails to appear the following morning, forcing Elvira and Zou Zou to spend another night. After performing a kicky musical number from her revue and sitting through a dinner of gruel and hypnotism, Elvira enjoys an assignation with Adrian. While in the throes of carnal pleasure with the hunky horse hand, Elvira experiences a vision in which she sees a similar tryst 10 years before—Elura cheating on Vladimere. In the vision, Elvira sees Vladimere walling up Elura in the dungeon. She rushes down to the scene of the crime, but Vladimere captures her. Trussed up and about to be split open by a scythe hanging from a swinging pendulum, Elvira swears she'll never accept a ride from another handsome stranger ever again.

Probably.

Horror's mistress continues to camp it up

Elvira's Haunted Hills was made in 2001 and has been slowly creeping around the country, making the rounds of tiny art houses and fringe film festivals in the manner of the zero-budget cult camp thriller it is, on its way to a Sept. 13 New York premiere. Mining humor from brazen anachronism (Bradley: "The village people say this castle is haunted"; Elvira: "Well, who listens to the Village People anymore?"), character tics and slapstick sight gags, Hills is Murder By Death as made by Roger Corman with a no-star cast.

As Cassandra Peterson's vampy Vampira alter ego, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, exhibits 20 years of polish and is enough of a personality to be credited "as herself." She responds effortlessly to all situations with a leer here and a tossed-off innuendo there, her still-waspish figure exaggerating her most prominent assets.

Elvira was born hosting, and skewering, low-budget movies on L.A.'s Channel 9, and in this film she stays close to her roots. Surrounded by stock characters and classic camp horror situations, Elvira feels like she's one step outside the movie, spinning the shenanigans for her post-ironic movie audience.

The supporting cast has a ball going over the top, led by the horror spoof veteran O'Brien (who, once upon a time, was Riff Raff in The Rocky Horror Picture Show). Some of the best moments involve running gags associated with the supporting players, like the ample bosom of long-suffering Zou Zou (source of hankies, slippers, blood sausage, etc.) and the hilariously dubbed Adrian (uncredited voice of Rob Paulsen).

Like other practitioners of referential cultural feedback, Elvira's brand of trashy camp is not for all tastes. But Elvira's Haunted Hills is a genuinely funny, if not especially original, horror spoof from the pre-Scream generation. It was made for the fun of it. Even better, they invite the audience to the party.

Elvira's longstanding costume—thigh-split black dress, piled-up hair and belt dagger—is so taken as read that it's nice to see her actually get to use the dagger, during an unsuccessful attempt to defend herself from Vladimere. — Mark